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Happy Birthday Dead People

January 19, 2011

Last week, a friend of mine posted on the Facebook,

“Grandma would’ve been 100 today! Holy cow! Happy Birthday, G-ma!”

When I read the post, I assumed that G-ma must have died sometime in the last couple of months, and this status update was probably some kind of a step in the process of mourning.  Then yesterday, it was MLK day. I was driving for most of it, but skimming through the radio stations, I heard it mentioned at least three times that Martin Luther King, Jr. would have been “82 today.”

About that third mention, my thoughts leaked back to G-ma. It occurred to me that I have been hearing hypothetical ages of dead people my whole life. What is that?

I’m not sure when the cut off for tracking “What if?” ages is, but so as to not get caught off guard, I have made a list of what I feel are the Top 10 most likely birthdays to come up in 2011, so that I can be ready with the quick math:

1) Princess Diana of Whales’ birthday is on July 1st and would have only been 50.

2) Michael Jackson would have turned 53 on August 29th.

3) John Lennon might have had a reunion with Paul in 2011, 71 this year on October 9th.

4) Marilyn Monroe would have only been 85, June 1, 2011.

5) John F. Kennedy would have turned 94 on May 29th this year.

6) Ronald Reagan would have hit 100 on February 6th this year!

7) Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi would have been 142 years young on October 2nd this year.

8) Abraham Lincoln would be 202 on February 12th of this year.

9) Sharing Lincoln’s birthday, Charles Darwin might have begun to evolve himself, also at age 202 this year.

10) George Washington would have made it to 280 if he had made it to this year’s February 11th (although we’ll “observe” it on the 3rd Monday of Feb.)

So there we have it!  No reason to be caught off guard on these guys.

But as a bonus, because I know some people think his head is frozen somewhere and may be on the move, Adolf Hitler would be 122 this year.

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