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Sharpening My 2012’s Resolution

December 31, 2011

Making grand New Year’s resolutions left my life nearly a decade ago.  They really are crap, and just not real. Signing up for gym memberships, going on diets, quitting addictions, taking up some stupid new hobby I once had a passing interest in… a brand new calendar on the wall is simply never going to be the catalyst for changing such in grain behavior, I don’t care how many adorable kittens are on it.

It is a time for some difficult transitions, though.  Last year’s budgets need to be overachieved, last year’s anniversary presents need to be outdone, and last year’s date needs to be purged from our minds as we date documents and checks.  Based on this acknowledgment,  I do use the annual calendar flip to modify a bit of myself.  The days building up to the first of the year I scrutinize my language so I can discern and start purging myself of the lazy gook that’s gotten lodged in there.  Speech becomes a bad habit.  Using words like “eipc” to describe anything we happen to be attending, and saying “late” as an abreviation for “later” somehow get stuck on our tongues and become part of who we are till we’re not even aware that we’ve become this massive tool version of ourselves.

So, here are the seven most annoying cultural clichés that I am completely done with, starting in 2012.  I will no longer:

  • Say “Sure,” before answering someone’s question.  Where did I pick that up?  I think I think I’m trying to say, “I understand your question,” but it comes out “sure.”
  • Respond to someone’s opinion or idea with “Perfect” or “Exactly.”   It just really wasn’t.
  • Advise my daughter to “watch her step” or “be careful” immediately after she has fallen and hurt herself.
  • thank someone “so much.” A simple thank you is good enough, damn it!
  • Respond to someone’s final point with “There ya go,” which really just means I stopped listening to you 2-minutes ago.
  • say “Bless you” when people sneeze. The offender is assigned to say “excuse me” after every other bodily function. Snot exiting the nose at 100 mph shouldn’t get a pass.
  • begin conversations with the word “so” like I’m reaching the conclusion of one.

…I sound like such an idiot when I do that.  Happy New Year!

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